Uh—Familiarity with the pitch will NOT help U.S. beat England. A surprise attack will. — USA Soccer Stud

In previewing group C of next summer’s World Cup—the group our beloved Yanks are playing in—Noah Davis from Goal.com predicts a hard fought tie in the opening game against England. This would be viewed as a win for the U.S., who have lost seven out of eight previous matches to the Brits since upsetting them in 1950.

Davis’ no. 1 reason for the victory? “The U.S. is familiar with [South Africa] and, more specifically, the pitch from their Confederations Cup trip this past June.” This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this uninspired logic—several ESPN commentators said the same on lottery day. But it doesn’t make it any less ridiculous.

In fact, pitch will not play a factor at all. Why? The field will be 120 x 100 yards. It will be flat, well groomed, and have the same lines England uses at Wembley Stadium. The only way the U.S. will win is with a surprise attack, because we all know England will be playing conservative like they have for the past 150 years.